Am I numb to emotions...

Hi,

It has been a long time since my last post.. [Not the happy Diwali on :p]

This year due to some reasons I will not be going to my hometown to celebrate Diwali...

I had known this since a long time that i wont be able to go home for Diwali..

But i didn't feel the pain for not going home..

I was never like this..

I still remember my first year in Pune .. 2007 when i was in CDAC..
that year as i was in CDAC and we didn't have an Official holiday for Diwali..

And because of some circumstances i got a chance to go home..

I was so happy at that time...

Around 8-10 years back there were some circumstances when my Dad had some fight with my grand dad and he said that we will leave our own house and shift to some rented house... I cried for almost a week..

The fight had settled in a couple of days but i was so sad it even affected my studies..

I took me a lot of courage to leave my hometown and shift base to Pune.

Even when I moved to a new rented flat  from my old rented flat [in pune itself] i had cried..

My wife was so confused to know the reason... i was too emotional..

but since last 2 -3 years i feel as if i feel no pain.

This year i am not that sad as i should have been..

I am feeling a bit pain..and the proof is this post itself but still i know i am not feeling that amount of pain as i should have been feeling.

Some years back i had read/seen/heard of some people especially in metro cities who give themselves cuts burns or some other sadistic things to feel pain because they say that they don't feel emotional pain.

i was too curious to know how can this be true..

But now i understand the gist behind it..

I hope i don't drop down to that level.. 

Wish me Luck...